I might be heading towards diabetes!

I went to the doctor today. He said my blood sugar and cholesterol it too high. I am 20 pounds overweight! He said if I continue to eat the same shit I always have and don't lose weight then diabetes is on my way. This is a frightening prospect! I simply have no choice but to get help for this sugar addiction. I must go see a nutritionist and get therapy!  I will not allow myself to get diabetes!

Everyday I yearn for sugar!

Even though my cholesterol is way too high, I still yearn for high carp sweet foods. Everyday I end up eating way too much junk that keeps my cholesterol high! It's a sick diabolical trait I have. I blame no one else. It's too late for that. I'm an adult. I have to take responsibility for who and what I am. Right now I am about to go out an get something high in carbs and sugar. Why? Because I have no control. I'm addicted. Yes, I need help! I have to get over this sugar addiction. I have to get my cholesterol down!

My cholesterol is too high!

I just found out my cholesterol is way too high! It's time to get serious about my sugar addiction. I have to start eating right, exercising and taking some sort of medication.

These things are getting in my way.

Several things have been getting in my way of what I must do in order to free myself from my sugar addiction. For one thing, I feared I had a kidney stone four days ago. I was experiencing what felt like the beginning of a urinary track infection. Later on, I had this pain in the right side of my back. I never experienced this before. I drank lots of fluid and put a hot pack on my back. Thankfully the pain went away after about 45 minutes. I went to see the doctor. They took a urine sample. It turns out I had bacteria and blood in my urine. I was given antibiotics for the infection. The next day I went to get my blood and urine checked as well as a ultrasound. I will know the results on Tuesday. I pray it's nothing serious. I am happy to announce that I have not had the pain back since I started taking the antibiotics. I am also drinking lots of cranberry juice to flush my kidney out. I doubt it's a kidney stone. I hear they are very very painful. I would hate to have to experience that.

I am grateful that today is the third day off of nicotine. I had an unfortunate relapse. The frustrations of life made me feel I needed a rebellious outlet. Smoking was it. What a stupid decision I made. This May will be 6 years since I quit smoking. I am not going to allow this sad dip in the road make me a smoker again. I am no longer a smoker. I can't wait for my 6 year anniversary of being smoke free!

These to occurrences have taken my focus away from writing in this blog about my sugar addiction. What can I say, things happen. And I have not take the time to try to follow an eating plan that was given to me. But I have no doubt that I will get to these things. But sometimes people get off on a rocky start. I'm afraid that's what happened with me. I got off to a rocky start. And when one gets off to a rocky start sometimes it looks like they might not want to start at all. But I do, most of the time.

The child sugar addict!

1. Write a history of your compulsive overeating beginning with the first time you can remember food related events. Discuss how much weight you have gained and lost, What medical attention you have sought for the problem and your attempts at maintaining weight losses.

As far as I can remember I was addicted to sugar. On Easter morning my parents would hide these elaborate Easter baskets stock filled with colorful beautiful easter bunnies and jelly beans. They would watch me go to the very closet it was hidden in. They would laugh because I knew exactly where it was without even knowing prior to where they hid it. While growing up my father would say that he never saw anything like it as I devoured cookies candies and chocolates.  Once my brother brought me several packs of milky way bars for a birthday gift. I finished them within a day or two. He and my family laughed. Another time my parents had a local dairy queen owner right me a gift certificate. They gave it to me for my birthday. I would always sneak candy even if I wasn't supposed to. If there was a candy bar for my sister I would steal it if I knew I could get away with it. Once I ate some cheesecake. My father went berserk. Then later he felt bad and bought me my own cheesecake. I ended up eating the whole thing. I'm sure I shared it. I honestly don't remember. Years later my older brother told me my father threw the cheesecake I ate on my head out of anger. I don't remember that part. But after he did that that's when he felt bad and bought me my own cheesecake. I always remember loving the color of candy wrappers. It was colorful and exciting, just like it still is today.

A moment of decedent weekness!

I just had another moment of decedent weakness. I went to the store and purchased chocolate covered raisins. I had a couple of handfuls. Then I smoked a cigarette!

How can I give up sugar?

After going to three Over Eaters groups I finally got a sponsor. Now I feel I mean business. My sponsor understand my life long addiction to sugar. No many people can relate to this bondage.
I am going to start reading the literature given to me. However, there is one big worry I have. How can I give up two addictions at the same time? You see, I started smoking three weeks ago after giving it up 5 years ago. So how can I expect to work on my sugar addiction and my smoking addiction at the same time?